food for thought

Its that time of year again when you start thinking about the previous year and what you have achieved. This year for me feels like it has passed so quickly and a bit like its a blur. I have achieved so little and in some ways it feels like its been a waste and that I have taken so many steps backwards.

But I’m trying not to focus on that but instead of how to move forward from this rut that I seem to have gotten myself into. I seem to be sabotaging myself, as soon as I gain a bit of control again I cant help but lose it again.

Its one step forward and two steps back, my weakness seems to be chocolate and anything sweet. This then leads to the “oh sod it” attitude that then spirals into a full on binge. I feel rubbish, my skin is horrid, its like being a teenager all over again. But despite all of this I still go through the same cycle day after day.

I cant really put my finger on when it started I just know its been too long, I've gained back too much weight, my clothes are getting tighter, and some don't even fit anymore. How do you get out of this rut? How do I regain the control I’ve lost? I’m not sure I have the answers at the moment but I'm trying to find them.

I’ve been quite emotional lately and I know for me this can be a trigger, its the time of year it makes you think about those you have around you or in my case those I don’t.

I’m trying to take it one day at a time and even one meal at a time and plan my day and make sure I actually stick to it. I’m reducing the temptation and avoiding taking money with me to work and removing temptation from house wherever possible. Not sure how effective will be but I'm going to keep “fire-fighting” my way through and hopefully I will come out the other side.